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Is this what it's like to be depressed?

Giving up things you love. Becoming more and more isolated. Endless plains of nothing. No desire, no motivation, no goals. Feeling worthless. Oceans of tears. Exhaustion. Loneliness. The dream of a better existence fading... fading away.

Moments of beauty, joy, gratitude punctuating a bleak existence. Friends, laughter, books, tv. Escape, forgetting, movement again. Thinking you've turned a corner. Falling in the next hole and realising you were wrong. More tears. Withdrawing even further from the world again.

I don't know. Sometimes, most of the time even (maybe), I feel normal. And yet all of the above is still true. For a given value of true as Terry Pratchett would say.

I'm reminded of that song by Matchbox 20: "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell. But just wait a while and then you'll see, a different side of me"

I'm scared to post this. It's so public, potentially at least - I have no idea how many people actually read this blog. And always my instinctual reaction when I'm feeling down has been to withdraw from people, to hide myself. So it's scary to put this up here.